KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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