Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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