A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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