A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme refrigerator

Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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