A twelve year old play Minecraft. He never made any friends. What did you expect?

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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yo mama so fat she had to eat healthy food and exercise daily

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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