There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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Why did the gay guy go in the bar? To find some hookers

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops