What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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