What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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who else is on here?

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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69

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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