what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

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Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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Do you know any anti-jokes. Yeah, I do. It's a bit pointless though.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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