If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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What would u like to drink?

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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