How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you send someone fudge, you should write them a poem with it Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse to see 100 dead babies on the bed of a truck or 100 fake babies falling directly from the empire state building... I don't know I have never seen either but if you could tell me if you saw it maybe i can use my imaination!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops