A drunk guy walks into a car

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Q:What the worst lie you have ever told??!!???!?!?!?!? A: I have read and agree to the Terms and Service

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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What's a Democrat's favorite activity? Blaming Republicans for shit they didn't do.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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MRLSIXBWBSOVODKSHAIFKQJXIGJNRMWKSJDIVIVKEBWBEBKGKBODJWBEBJRRKFOBPBPDJWVECTNYLLNNIFUDJEBWKSOXOVOFJSBSBDKCKFKTKEBEJDLDOFIDKDJDHDBENSMSKSKSKSKSJDJDJSNRNTNTKDPQPWJSHCHCJDNEBBSJSKC

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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