Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

Jack Stevens

you pick up 10 students from a school, you buy a pish from the fet store, and then drive to new york whos driving the bus? a fat guy with a level 80 org in world of warcraft

Nobody walks into a bar. So nothing happens.

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Anthony sucks

You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...