What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

what's black and can't swim?

What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

I have a horse.

What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

Justin beiber's penis

What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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