A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

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hahahahahah http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=sonny+bartlett&hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&tbnid=s37cS73V74A8YM:&imgrefurl=http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCASl7llFhDpTF8vwjDlGI_g/videos&docid=kJoLzGiYRM-2AM&itg=1&imgurl=https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-si7_hCcHI7E/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAAAA/HzlEl3ilyyM/s55-c-k/photo.jpg&w=55&h=55&ei=GrgsUZ_kJqac0AWExIC4BQ&zoom=1&biw=1024&bih=616&iact=rc&dur=188&sig=111947294788926856610&page=1&tbnh=55&tbnw=55&start=0&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:0,i:109&tx=27&ty=11

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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