a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To achieve his goal on the other side of the road. Being a chicken he is not aware of the arm a fast traveling motor vehicle can bring to him.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

thumb_up thumb_down

what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

thumb_up thumb_down

ugvvvvvv

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

thumb_up thumb_down

If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

thumb_up thumb_down

Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

thumb_up thumb_down

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down

An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops