how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Okay, after this one then...

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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David Cameron

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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What's the new green? Green

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops