Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops