Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops