I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

Bible Fact0idz: "Something Drink my blood and consume my flesh and live forever something" Jesus- dead age 30something alcoholism liver problems and diabeetus at time of death, crucified and not been seen since, return pending? Classified Alcoholic. Moral: "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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