Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

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Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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whats the worst part about being a black jew your black and jewish

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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My Butthole.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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yo mamas so poor she should probably consider finding a job

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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