A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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why couldn't the boy use the computer He could i meant could

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops