Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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What did a blonde and a Puerto Rican name their baby? Joshua, after the blonde's grandfather who passed away a year earlier.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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