How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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69

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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boobs.

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Why? Why not?

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks his father to explain the birds and bees. The father then proceeds to rape the little boy.

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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I forgot what came after: Roses are Red Violets are Blue Too much anti jokes

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

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Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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Q: what's do the following sports have in common?: baseball, football, tennis, golf? A: They all have balls in their sport.

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What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

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What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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