What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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You know what assuming leads to... .....Assumptions.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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