What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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I hate long jokes -_-

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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