Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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What is funnier than 24? The fact that you think numbers are funny?

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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What happen's when you give an alcoholic whiskey? He's an alcoholic, so he drinks it.

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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What happened when the woman sent back the pair of shoes she bought on eBay? She obtained a refund from the seller under eBay's return policy.

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A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

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Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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There once was a woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling She went to the doctors and was consequently diagnosed with Chlamydia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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