What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +12

VAGINA.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Stop procrastinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What would EARTH without ART be? EARTH, you dummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops