What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

Your in Thailand on a Elephant ride... at the end you jump off but uncle jack is still on the elephant and the elephant wont let him off.... Do you help your uncle, Jack off the elephant?

What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

What did Pikachu say to Charmander? Nothing. Pokemon are fictional creatures, and thus, do not exist.

A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

What is worse than the Holocaust? Women's sports

Soccer...

knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

(Insert joke here)

this website even though its hilarious.

Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

say sopha king together then sat funny at the end

Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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