What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

A horse walks into a bar, it is then frightened and bucks a man in the chest. Animal control and an ambulance are promptly called. The horse is then taken to a stable, while the man is taken to the hospital where he later made a full recovery.

Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

V I T A M I N C !

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

What is the good thing about having sex with KL..... Nothing because she is a fat man

Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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