Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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what do u do if a women serves you lunch in the living room? u tighten the chain!!!!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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#IsaiahAfterAD&B

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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