You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

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So I was walking down the road today

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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