If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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K

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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Whats so bad about all the black people in the world dying? The police would be out of a job.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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