Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

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Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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one time someone wrote an anti-joke, hoping for lots of likes, which give one a sense of validation. nope.

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What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Life

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why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

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What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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