What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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This is a story of Bobbie He was fat so he got bullied at school he did not have any friends. He ate a lot and watched the television. He was called names such as big, fat, an idiot, clumsy. But he begun to realise that if he was smart, he could become rich. So he studied hard and hard, but he did not become better at it. So he thought I want to succeed in sports, so he began exercising and was on a strict diet, but nothing changed. He was still fat and unfit. Then one day he knew that he couldn't succeed. So he asked God, what is the purpose of me living, why can't I have something, maybe a talent. God replied I'm sorry but I can't give you a talent. You have to figure it out by yourself. Then Bobbie knew what his talent was. So the following morning Bobbie went to www.anti-joke.com and began writing jokes. Octopus. Bye

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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Yo mama is so fat, Dora couldn't explore her. Yo mama is so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super bowl. Yo mama so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture and screamed he was gonna be a millionare.

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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