- Anti Joke

What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

What group of people do the police target? Criminals.