What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

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You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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