Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

YOU

What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

Why are there so many anti-jokes about refrigerators? Because the writer of the joke was pressured by terrorists that would kill him if he didn't write about refrigerators.

Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

What do you call a guy with alot of money? A rich guy.

One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

a person who will soon die of beeties

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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