While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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belly button

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

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What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

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Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Shea's sty....

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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who is awesome? no one...

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i am blue you are red ive got a face look at it look at it i say

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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What do you do in a one night stand? Stand all night long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops