Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

A mexican and a black person are in the back of a car. Whos driving? A bus driver.

what is very tall and red a very tall red building

Christianity.

What's big, white, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.?

What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

Two guys walk into a bar.

A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender was just about to leave, so he takes the dog home with him. He makes found dog signs and posts them around the neighborhood. The owner sees one of the signs and retrieves his pet from the bartender, thanking him for finding his dog.

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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