What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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What do you call a Jew A Jew

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Of course, first door on your left

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Im cute hehehee

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Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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