Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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A Jew, a black guy, and a redneck are walking down the street because their car broke down a few miles back.

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops