Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A sober Irish individual.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did death say to life? Go die

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What do you call a black pilot. A: A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats white jizz

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops