Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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Why did Tim sit on the chair? Because potato.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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