what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Knock knock *open*

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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Happy Monday!

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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