How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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Why did Sally cross the road? She didn't, she got hit by my car.

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What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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What's the heaviest part of an elephant? Its body.

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My Nan, that is all.

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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