What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

thumb_up thumb_down -42

whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

thumb_up thumb_down -44

There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

wanna hear a joke? women rights. -ZombieUr

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Knock knock... Home invasion

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops