What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Black people are black They are inferior

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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NEVER

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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what is friendship? when friends go on a ship

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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knock knock There's no door

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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Knock knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? Uh, Boo Johnson, your next door neighbor. Forget it I'll come another day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops