Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

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what do you call a monkey? a monkey

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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What's 50 feet tall, wears glasses and plays dungeons and dragons. A nerd, I lied about the 50 feet part.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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c:

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

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My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

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why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

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Do you love me? No.

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Potassium? K.

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops