You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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What is more worse than death? Death

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

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Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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ok

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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